The Female Chameleon

Women are chameleons. Admit it — we have all seen it, and many have done it at least once in their lives. We may not always be consciously aware of it while it is happening, but it happens much too often and we recognize it afterwards. Taking on the personality and opinions of our lovers while we are dating.

Her whole life a woman would rather have her teeth pulled without the sedative than vote Republican; yet after meeting her new partner she is spouting the GOP line as if she were born to it. She has spent holidays spouting the evils of red meat; with her new date at her side, she is barbecuing steaks. She has developed enough close friendships with gay men to make you wonder if she is considering gender-alignment surgery. After the third date, she has dropped them all faster than Focus In The Family.

So what happened? What happened is something that happens every day with hundreds of women — she believes that she has found the one (be it male or female), and in order to make certain that this one doesn’t get away — that the Relationship works, she is going to take no chances. She will adopted his/her opinions as her own and without question. Did the new squeeze require these changes in order to continue with the relationship? Of course not. In fact, if they knew of this strange metamorphosis — depending upon the state of their own mental health — they would run screaming into the arms of someone else.

I once thought women only did this to protect the fragile male ego. After all, society has taught women that the male ego was so delicate, it was our job as women to pander and protect it. So how does one explain this same phenomena between women? Obviously this is a mental defect particular only to women, and a result of their own personalities.

Why are women so willing to give up a large part of themselves? Is this behavior really necessary? [And does anyone find this attitude change as offensive as I do?]

On the face of it, I would have to assume the women who subject themselves to this loss of self must be extremely insecure. Either fear of confrontation or fear of losing a potential lover, somehow they seem to feel the price is worth paying. So how do they survive single life? It appears they survived it — so why does not she see that also?

I do not agree with everything my spouse opines, but I also do not expect her to agree with me on every issue either. Does it mean we are not compatible? Of course not. If my spouse agreed with everything I said or felt, I think I would find life a little boring. A good debate is good for the soul. If nothing else, it is a reminder that life is rarely black and white — there is a heck of a lot of grey out there too!

A good friend of ours recently hit the dating market, and almost just as quickly, jumped into a Relationship. They have not moved in together yet, though they spend a great deal of time together, and they have agreed not to date others. I have been watching our friend go through the chameleon syndrome, and doing my best to keep my thoughts to myself. I have listened to this woman mock others for wearing make-up and swear she would rather have her teeth pulled out, yet the new squeeze has talked her into wearing eye-makeup and lipstick. Maybe our friend will actually begin to enjoy wearing it, as well as the blouses; enjoy wearing her hair long again; and even find satisfaction in the new chosen career. Maybe all of these changes are for the best. But I can not help mourning for the person she used to be. Somehow, she seemed a happier person to me, before all of these changes.

So, this was my quiet rant on the topic. Let me know what you think.

Until next time… 

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