Once you’ve come out as a lesbian to yourself, the next step is to consider the large choice. Am I going out to others? This question can not, in my view, be replied with a simple yes or no. Have you realized that you are a lesbian lately? If so, the process of coming out to yourself must first be completed. This dramatic shift in a woman’s view of herself— whether she’s always known, experienced an epiphany lately, or she’s a late bloomer — can be scary and confusing to come out to herself. And it implies that she has to face many phases of discovery and growth before she can feel comfortable again in herself.
There’s excitement at first and a sense of understanding yourself at last. As a tiny kid, this time can be contrasted with life. Everything is wonderful, no matter how small, and worthy of note. You examine childhood and teen years memories and slip the puzzle parts together, understanding emotions for the first time. The feeling is quite thrilling and romantic.
If portion of your coming out occurred to yourself when you fell in love with a lady, it will be simple to extend these emotions to the person and the relationship. Imagine the impression of a hundredfold amplified by your most thrilling crush. Burying yourself in those emotions added to the fresh relationship sensation and quickly you start to feel that the two of you can do or do anything. Nobody would dare to threaten your emotional power. And as you tap into the lifelong love and excitement fantasy of each other, the emotions are growing ever stronger and stronger.
Enjoy those emotions because the excitement will inevitably fade. You’re going to ask hard questions for yourself. How could I have had a crush on a guy if I’m a lesbian? If I’m a lesbian, how could I marry a guy? Did I lie to myself all my life? And then hits the large, frightening question. If I’m not who I was supposed to be, who am I? I understand that? It’s no time to attempt to answer family questions and ask friends. You have to face your own questions first.
Now is the moment you have to take for yourself. When you went to yourself, you took off the blinders— but that was just the first phase. Now it’s time to test each other’s emotions and memories, understand your motivations and senses, so that you can feel comfortable again within your own skin.
Before we can run, we must learn to walk. You have taken the first step— this is not the time for a run to break out.
Until next time…