Dating. It is a word that brings shivers to some and a smile to others. It is an activity we all engage in at one time or another, and I think we can all agree there are some awkward and funny moments involved in it.
Finding someone with whom you want to spend time can be an adventure all by itself. You see someone who piques your interest, which can be a problem all by itself. First you have to determine is she or is not she, and even her hairdresser may not know. I am a firm believer that since lesbians are expected to accept attention from a man as a compliment, straight women should accept attention from a lesbian in the same vein. But, let’s assume you have determined that she IS — how do you go about arranging a date?
If you are feeling really bold, you could just walk up to her, tell her you are interested in her and ask her out. And although there are many things mom taught me that I have since discarded, the lesson that a lady does not express interest until someone — read male — makes the first move is not an easy one to get past. I just have not been trained to take that much rejection.
If you are extremely passive, you can just keep hanging out where she hangs out and hope she eventually notices you, takes pity and asks you out. This method is fairly risky as someone a little bolder than you could sweep her out from under your gaze.
There must be a happy medium in there somewhere, which is the road I feel most comfortable traveling. Not that there are not still hazards, but a woman has to decide how much risk she is willing to take.
Inviting a woman to join you for some activity you are doing in any case, in a friendly manner, can at least buy you time with the woman. There are some real benefits for starting out this way, as you can determine if you are really interested in her before you have laid your ego out there in the open.
There are some drawbacks to the safety of the middle ground. There is the awkwardness of no one knowing if it is a real date, or if you are just friends. It is a little disconcerting when she offers to women watch with you. Or what if she invites someone else to join the two of you? Both situations where you could save the situation by being a little bolder, but what if she then tells you she is already involved in a relationship?
One of my favorite stories was from a friend of mine, who was so certain of her gaydar that she just KNEW the woman who had caught her eye was a lesbian. Just before she boldly stated her intentions, the woman’s HUSBAND showed up. Or from another friend, who had an extra ticket with no one special to invite, invited a friend to join her at the theatre. She then fretted the entire following week that the woman would misunderstand her intentions.
I do not know if being a lesbian has special situations in dating, but I do know it helps make it more of an adventure.
If you have special stories of dating experiences, please email me. But do not forget to let me know if I can post your stories, your name with your story, or any combination thereof.
Until next time…