Lesbian Relationships are the Most Unstable- Why?

One point of this website is to have a discussion about healthy lesbian relationships. It’s especially relevant now that we have achieved marriage equality in the United States (and many other countries). Some data that has come out of Europe, as well as other sociological studies, have shown a consistent pattern of very high break up rates (much higher than for heterosexuals or gay men even) between female same-sex couples in live in, civil union, and domestic partnership type arrangements. I think it is important for us as a community to have a discussion about these seemingly very high rates of break ups and therefore turmoil that happen in same-sex relationships between women. It is also important for queer women whose personalities that don’t fit with a traditional monogamous marriage (and would prefer being single, a serial monogamist, or in an open relationships) to decide what is best for them and to have accurate information about their lifestyles as well. But in general, most lesbians want to find a life partner and multiple studies of married people show a definite correlation for married people in mental health and financial stability. So, it is a topic worth talking about for everyone. Only time will tell how lesbian divorce rates will play out exactly now that marriage is legal in the United Sates and many other countries. I am going to use the term “lesbian relationship” here for convenience acknowledging that there are also bisexual women in same-sex relationships.

The reasons why I think break up rates are so high for female same-sex couples…

1) Even Heterosexual Women Are More Likely to Initiate Divorce

This may just be the bottom line here. Marina Adshade makes this important point in “Are Lesbian Marriages Doomed for Failure.”  Women are shown to initiate up to 2/3 of heterosexual divorces (and many studies show women cheat almost as much as men so no, this isn’t the reason). It’s possible women are more demanding of relationship satisfaction and have higher expectations than men (sounds like a stereotype but the divorce stats are what they are). Same sex relationships between women would be much more likely to dissolve based on this fact alone.

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This article was written by admin