Recently, some friends and I discussed our private approach to the notion of “lesbian identity.” Needless to say, the shared ideas were intriguing, but the fundamental ideas of identity were what I found even more interesting. Some females replied as to why they identify as a lesbian with their emotions. Others replied on living as a lesbian with a more worldwide strategy. The distinct methods signal to me that each individual’s identity really has more significance than any of us realized.
Ask yourself before you read on… Is your concept about yourself or your interactions as a lesbian identity?
“Lesbian identity” for me is about identifying our lives and the spirit within which we are motivated and guided.
There are some people who believe that “lesbian identity” is females lusting for females, promiscuous and indiscriminately engaging with any female. These folks recognize lesbians as sexual predators, pursuing sex aggressively with each encountered female (or girl). Effectively this limited definition strips us of our humanity, leaving us nothing but sexual humans.
I think we reinforce this narrow view of lesbian identity when we define ourselves by our sexuality, excusing our not coming out as “no one’s business.” How many times did you hide behind (or hear), “I don’t come out to so – and-so because what I do in my bedroom is no business for anyone.” And if so, it may be time for us to consider seriously whether our lesbian identity starts and finishes in the bedroom.
We become one-dimensional by identifying ourselves through our sexual activity-as just what happens in the bedroom. In a globe packed with three-dimensional interactions, we are allowing our lives to become hollow and meaningless, or at best something that exists only hidden from the public perspective-in the bedroom.
There are situations in the same breath where it is in the best interest of a woman not to come out. Personal security, whether physical, family or economic, must above all be regarded. Each person must weigh the risk factors, and there are some who have to bear the heavy burden of hiding their lesbian identity due to certain bigotries.
Our power arises from being frank with our reasoning-honest within ourselves about our identity. It is empowering to accept that coming out may not be secure as long as we can recognize and respect our lesbian identities and interactions privately.
Finally, my concept of “lesbian identity,” if you were asking, is about affirmation. Lesbian identity is a beneficial action-women’s love and honor-not a negative or avoidance-men’s rejection-as many unknowing people suppose. Lesbian identity is about establishing a woman’s life-bond, which in turn generates love, pride and strength in every aspect of our life-not just what we share in the bedroom.
How do you describe your identity as a lesbian?
Before the next moment…