I’m One Year Into My First Lesbian Relationship & Here’s What I’ve Learned

I’ve been bisexual in straight relationships for a lot of my life. There was the occasional awkwardness when I would talk about being into girls as well, but for the most part, people always assumed I was straight. I know some bisexuals in straight relationships, or not in any relationship at all, who have had a much rougher time with being bi than I have. People are wary of bisexuals generally, their partners may have a problem with it, or there are people who will straight up refuse to date them. For those people who chose to come out as bi, even if they’ve only been in straight relationships, it can be a traumatic process. If I’m honest, however, up until I started dating a woman a year ago, it’s been relatively smooth sailing. Some people knew I was bi, some didn’t. My family knew but sort of ignored it, and it didn’t really cause any ripples.

But for the past year I’ve been (very) happily been in a lesbian relationship and it has been a totally different experience. While it’s been hands down the best relationship I’ve ever been in, there have been some challenges being in my first same-sex relationship. First, I have to say I have no desire to speak in massive generalizations about men and women. Obviously, it’s down to the person, but there are some differences in being with a man versus being with a woman. There are differences in the way people view you, the way you view each other, the way you interact.

So here are seven things I’ve learned one year into my first lesbian relationship:

1. Some People Are Difficult

No surprise here. I’m amazed at how many people feel the need to mutter “lesbians” under their breath as we walk by, but worse are the men who come up and hit on you when you’re with your girlfriend and ask “Are you really gay? No, but I mean really?” And walking around with your girlfriend at night is just like walking home alone late at night but with added homophobia potential, it’s not fun.

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